07:11 Jun 20 2008
Times Read: 954
Do not assume ANYTHING when it comes to me.
Do not assume I do not like you unless I say it.
Do not assume that just because someone tells you something about/or what I have said it has came from me.
Do not assume that I am friends with everyone, because I am not. I have different levels of friendship. Especially since I have trust issues due to certain things. There is very few people who have actually had a serious convo with me. There are even fewer who actually KNOW me. And there is a VERY SLIM amount of people who I talk to on an everyday basis that can give you the ins and out of me.
I don't know why people assume things, especially when it comes out of the mouth of other people.
I mean seriously, I am not a hard people to actually talk to, unless I have made it very clear that I want nothing to do with you on any level.
If you question that, then friggin ask me, I have NO issues with telling someone why I do not care for them or why I do not choose to associate with them.
Basically DO NOT assume anything with me, because I am pretty sure it's not even close to the real deal.
02:47 Jun 04 2008
Times Read: 1,469
Over a span of about 10 years, give or take some times within the years, the role of being a 'nurse' gets old. Especially when it is not your profession.
The times when having to bottle up your own pain in order to attend to others takes a toll on your body. In both a spiritual and physical sense. It takes even more so of a toll when the other persons issues are from purposely neglecting themselves.
In many ways I feel so much older then what is stamped on my birth certificate. I feel older mentally, physically, spiritually, and any other way possible.
I know that is also why I am so strong in my don't b.s. me attitude and my pickiness of friends. Life is short, time is short. I have no use for wasting time being nicey nicey to someone when I could in fact be spending time with people I truly enjoy.
Much like when you hear older people talk or say things that might be offensive. They are old. They have EARNED the right to say that. They have seen things that not everyone has seen, experienced things not everyone has and dealt with things at a time when it was damn close to impossible.
I feel like that most the time. With the things I've had to deal with and do. I've earned being able to express myself the way I do and think the way I think.
Much like other people.
Just some random thoughts.
18:18 Jun 02 2008
Times Read: 1,512
“Time Discovers Truth”
This background and the quote were not just for looks. It does actually hold some meaning to me.
I have come to learn that time does expose the truth of people. The truth of people being the way they are. Their flaws, egotism, hidden agendas, psychotic tendencies and actions, their ability to appear one way and actually be the person they claim they aren’t and a dramatic nature that not only will involve them, but bring in the people around them.
I am not saying that all of the people I have known over time will hold the negative traits. I have met some extremely caring, wonderful, witty and intelligent people. I hold those people dearly to me since I do not let very many people close to me for various reasons.
I have known some people who I thought were wonderful at the time, and in their own way I am sure they are, but there comes a point when the time reveals the full truth and you are better off removing them from being a constant influence on your life. Those times are sad, but when you’ve realized that it’s a constant bringing of chaos into your life, especially at a time when you do not need it, it’s best to step away and think of yourself. As selfish as that sounds, in life you are the one who will ultimately get you through the trials and tribulations that life has to offer. It is wonderful to have the close friends that will also be there with you, but it is your mind, body and soul that will ultimately get you to the goal you are looking for.
There are times when truth is reveled in a different sense. A time when you learn through the actions of others and the situations you see. This can call for a moral choice. I’ve had to make those choices. Granted they are hard at the beginning, but in time it can let you see a whole side to a person that you didn’t see before you made the decision.
Lessons learned, choices made and times rolls on.
I find it heart breaking when you become so close to someone and then suddenly they’ve turned psychotic. And I don’t mean in the sense of a crazy good time. I mean in the sense of a full fledge person with the characteristics of a broken free mental patient. These are the type of people I wish it didn’t take time to discover. They should have a little sign on their forehead that says “I’m crazy, please hold your distance.” These are around more than you think. These are the ones you need to take extreme caution with.
People say that first impressions are everything. In a way I agree and in a sense I disagree. Just because someone seems to be sweet and nice or rude and mean, doesn’t mean they always are. I won’t deny that I judge people in a sense; especially here. I watch people in a sense. I see the way they can act with others, maybe the way they react to different ideas, etc. If they seem like someone I would enjoy talking to, I will do so. If not, then I just keep my distance with a smile and nod. It works out easier that way.
Because I have been extremely screwed over in the past by ‘friends’, my list is short and my desire to have abundance has ceased. I still have walls with some that are my friends, but there are friends that have made my walls just crumbled to the ground after knowing them. This has worked in the opposite way before as well. Where I have known someone and my walls have went back up because of truth I’ve seen.
It is life. It happens.
We live and move on.
Basically what I am trying to say is this:
Life is about learning. We learn more of our self as time goes on. We learn more of the ones that surround us in life. And we also learn more about life in general. Take the time to discover the truths of the people you surround yourself with. Don’t let yourself become blind by what you think they are. Because in the end, it could be the worst choice.
COMMENTS
-